Love is Stranger than Fiction

– Tales from a Sistah in Scotland
By Zetta Brown

I am a cynic. I never gave marriage much thought and had become comfortable with the prospect of being a “cat lady” living with 100 cats . . . and a handsome, young pool boy named Pablo. But the Internet changed all of that. I am now living in a romance novel and have been for over four years.

I met my husband, Jim, through an online reading and writing group. We had known each other by pseudonym for a few years prior. He was in a relationship at the time and I was friendly with his girlfriend. Don’t worry. Their relationship had ended long before Jim and I became serious. The one big obstacle between us was that I lived in Texas and he lived in Scotland.

But true love conquers all. Where there’s a will there’s a way! You get the picture.

After about eight weeks of chatting daily online and calls on the weekend, Jim decided he could stand it no more. He booked a flight to meet me. Five days later, he was gone and I was engaged to be married to a man I had just “met”—at least in person, anyway. To say this was a surprise to my friends and family would be a gross understatement. However, my Dad liked him (my mother had died years earlier) and that was all that mattered. After everyone got over the shock of the announcement, it didn’t take long until Jim was absorbed into my family and circle of friends.

During our engagement, our daily chats increased to twice a day despite the six hour time difference. My final phone bill was more than my monthly rent. It didn’t take long for me to accept the need to marry in Scotland for the sake of my elderly, future mother-in-law. Jim took care of everything. “You just get your dress and get here,” were his instructions to me. So, nearly a year after our engagement, I lead a small group of family and friends into an invasion of Scotland where, inside a stately Georgian manor house, I married my white knight. He even wore a kilt. My Dad got into the spirit and wore a kilt, too, as is the custom for weddings and other special occasions in Scotland. We had a blast.

I was now a Sistah in Scotland.

I have been to Loch Ness (beautiful!). I have eaten haggis (an acquired taste). I have also eaten fried pizza (don’t ask.)

For writers, travel will enhance and enrich their writing. For readers, travel will deepen their understanding of things they may have taken for granted in the past. For example, if you ever visit Scotland and the next time you sing “Auld Lang Syne” on New Year’s Eve, you will understand why it is more than a tune to be sung at the end of a year. It is practically the philosophy the Scots have towards history and relationships in the fact that both are to be treasured and remembered.

If you have never traveled before, or don’t travel much, I strongly recommend it. More Americans should have passports, but that’s another issue. Don’t let gas prices discourage you because you don’t have to go far or move to another land in order to feel like a traveller. But everyone should nudge out of their comfort zone—at least once.

Adjusting to living in a new country is not easy. Even though the Scots speak English, it’s English like you’ve never heard it before. And, as you can imagine, there are few black Americans in Scotland, but there are more races than you would think when you consider the Commonwealth and former colonies of England. There are a lot of Chinese and eastern Europeans living here too. Fortunately, I am lucky that my new Scottish family are warm and funny and have made me feel right at home. Yet, even though I can qualify for British citizenship by the end of this year, I still miss my home and can’t wait for the day that we move back so my husband can get dual-citizen status too.

I’m very lucky because I have had the opportunity to do two things I have always wanted to do: travel and publish my novel. Well, I now live some 3,000 miles away from home, so that’s Goal #1 completed. And since living in Scotland, my husband and I have delved deeper into our mutual love for reading and writing by expanding the publishing company he started in 2003. As a result, I have been able to publish my debut a novel, Messalina – Devourer of Men. Goal #2 accomplished!

My novel is about a black woman in her 30s who has lived a sheltered and guided life up to the point where she can only find release by sexual means. She also believes that her race and size has frightened “normal” men away so she doesn’t have high expectations from the men she meets. It would be inaccurate to say my life totally reflects that of Eva, my protagonist, but I can relate to feeling weighed down with the expectations of others and living a life that seems unfulfilled. We both feel like a fish out of water but it is not until we realize the way others see us that tells us we’re not as boring as we may think.

Living in Scotland has given me inspiration and made me appreciate who I am and where I come from. My husband gives me inspiration and every time I read or see on television a British, or even better, a Scottish character. I can nod with understanding because I have first-hand experience of the people. I anticipate that my future writings will draw from this well of experience and inspiration too. I have always been used to being the lone black person in a group, but to live in a country where I am a minority in both race and nationality, you can’t help being introspective. Am I being an “Ugly American” and critiquing British standards against those in America or am I doing justice as a representative of our country by trying to absorb and learn as much as I can? To be honest, I’ve done both.

I will never stop feeling flattered when someone compliments me on my “nice accent” or ask where I come from and then be interested—or even thrilled—when I give them the answer. I have a co-worker who says that I make a packet of potato chips (or “crisps,” as they are called here) sound good to eat just by reading the ingredients.

Yes. Love is stranger than fiction and it has allowed me to do some strange things I never thought I would. I am still a cynic. I can’t help it. But beneath my sarcastic exterior lies a romantic at heart who is living happily ever after.

About the Author
Zetta Brown is the editor for LL-Publications, which was founded by her husband, author Jim Brown. Her debut novel, Messalina – Devourer of Men, was released in June 2008. She is also the creator of The Full-Bodied Book Blog (http://fullbodiedbooks.blogspot.com). She will soon have her new blog, Sistah in Scotland, up at http://sistahinscotland.blogspot.com where she will continue to chronicle her experiences as a black American woman in a foreign land. Feel free to email her at zetta@zettabrown.com.